tumblr hit counter
fuckery – Nothing Crushes Us – Page 1
Posts tagged fuckery
11:43 pm - Mon, Mar 5, 2012
332 notes

Before class, several guys discussed Sandra Fluke, contraception, and Rush Limbaugh

cognitivedissonance:

And then this happened…

  • Guy #1: I don’t get what that Flake bitch was all pissed about. 
  • Guy #2: Why?
  • Guy #1: Her lesbian friend supposedly lost an ovary. So? She’s got two, and it’s not like a lesbo is using them anyhow. Like I want to pay for girls to be sluts if it’s not with me, dude.
  • Me: Fucking really?
  • Guy #2: Uh, yeah. Why?
  • Me: Would you give up your left nut? I assume you have two and it’s not like an asshole like yourself is using them anyhow. [His buddies laugh]
  • Guy #1: Chill, bitch, I’m joking.
  • Guy #2: You went to the Rush Limbaugh school of funny, didn’t you? Because you’re not funny, dude. Say you’re sorry to the girls around us. 
  • Guy #1: [Laughs] Real men don’t apologize.
  • Guy #2: Watch. [Turns to face several women, including me] “I’m sorry I’m a socially awkward prick who can’t find my dick with both hands. You are completely right. I’m not using my balls because I don’t have any.” See? That’s how you do it. Now do it or shut your fucking mouth. Shit, dude, you’re the reason none of us get laid.
  • Guy #1:
  • Me: [Laughing so hard I’m almost crying]

(H/t to Amanda for letting me listen to her tape recorder so I could get this fuckery right.)

That guy is doing it right. Not every day do people stand up for what’s right when it seems socially awkward to do so.

Following
Install Headline